Episode 324: ‘Don’t Breathe,’ ‘Southside with You,’ Pitch Me

0:00 – Hello, here is an iTunes review
2:10 – “Mechanic: Resurrection” and “Hands of Stone” may or may not be real movies
5:00 – “Don’t Breathe” review (Snider only)

12:00 – “Southside with You” review, beginning with a digression on BOATS and Twitter (shoutouts to @filmdrunk and @mattsinger)
19:00 – QOTW (birthday stories that would make good movies; shoutout to @jcdeleon1)
34:10 – A round of Pitch Me (shoutout to @rejects)
41:40 – Recap, good day

QOTW: Tell us your 1 favorite and 1 least favorite movie of summer 2016.

REVIEWS:
Don’t Breathe: B+
Southside with You: B- 5/10

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Episode 323: ‘War Dogs,’ ‘Kubo and the Two Strings,’ ‘Ben-Hur,’ Summer Box Office Challenge final results

0:00 – Welcome to the show; an iTunes review en español
2:30 – “War Dogs” review
14:00 – “Kubo and the Two Strings” review
20:20 – “Ben-Hur” review
30:20 – An interesting “Ben-Hur” fact

31:50 – QOTW (pre-1960 movies that should be remade, and how they would be different)
43:25 – The official conclusion of the 2016 Summer Box Office Challenge; a recitation of what Bayer’s punishments will be; there is much negotiation concerning the haircut
50:50 – Recap and good day

QOTW: In honor of Eric’s birthday (Aug. 26; gifts and tributes welcome), tell us a true story about one of your birthdays and we’ll make it into a movie.

REVIEWS:
War Dogs: C 5/10
Kubo and the Two Strings: B 8/10
Ben-Hur: C 4/10

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Episode 322: ‘Hell or High Water,’ ‘Florence Foster Jenkins,’ ‘Don’t Think Twice,’ ‘Sausage Party,’ ‘Nine Lives’

0:00 – Hello, brought to you by honest lemonade
1:55 – “Hell or High Water” review
12:15 – “Florence Foster Jenkins” review
21:50 – “Don’t Think Twice” review



31:25 – “Sausage Party” review (Snider only)
38:40 – “Nine Lives” sort of review (Snider only)
43:40 – QOTW (bad movies that could be remade well)
54:00 – Recap, additional commentary, good day

QOTW: What pre-1960 movie should be remade, and how would it be different today?

REVIEWS:
Hell or High Water: B+ 8/10
Florence Foster Jenkins: B+ 7/10
Don’t Think Twice: B+ 8/10
Sausage Party: B n/a
Nine Lives: C- n/a

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Episode 321: ‘Suicide Squad,’ Character Casserole

0:00 – Hello, “folks”
1:00 – One of this week’s movies was hidden from critics, if you can imagine
4:45 – “Suicide Squad” review
24:55 – QOTW (superhero stories that have yet to be told), including discussion of Jeff’s TV snobbery



33:30 – Some more “Suicide Squad” complaining, reiteration of call for new theme songs
39:00 – A round of Character Casserole
46:50 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: What’s a bad movie that could be good if it were remade properly?

REVIEWS:
Suicide Squad: D 4/10

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Episode 320: ‘Jason Bourne,’ ‘Bad Moms,’ ‘Nerve,’ ‘Star Trek Beyond’

0:00 – A quick hello and an iTunes review
3:00 – “Jason Bourne” review
14:35 – “Bad Moms” review
24:25 – “Nerve” review



33:15 – “Star Trek Beyond” review
37:45 – QOTW (other “bad” versions of good occupations)
48:00 – A report on birthdays, specifically the one Jeff just had
52:35 – A brief Summer Box Office Challenge update, recap, goodbye

QOTW: What superhero story has yet to be told?

REVIEWS:
Jason Bourne: C 9/10
Bad Moms: B- 6/10
Nerve: C+ 5/10
Star Trek Beyond: B- 8/10

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Episode 319: ‘Lights Out,’ ‘Ice Age: Collision Course,’ ‘Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie,’ our 1,000th review

0:00 – Hello; a call for new, shorter theme songs
5:05 – They only screened “Star Trek Beyond” in New York and L.A., and we don’t live either of those places
6:40 – “Ice Age: Collision Course” review (Snider only)
12:20 – “Lights Out” review
19:35 – We celebrate our 1,000th review with a new searchable database! (Mark from Winnipeg helped a lot, so please check out TheLifeYouCanSave.org on his behalf)
24:10 – “Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie” review (Snider only)
28:10 – Maybe we’ll talk about “Star Trek Beyond” next week
29:00 – QOTW (Mt. Rushmore of sci-fi movies)
42:40 – Brief, tactful Summer Box Office Challenge update, recap, goodbye

QOTW: In the tradition of “Bad Moms,” “Bad Santa,” “Bad Teacher,” etc., what other occupation or calling usually presumed to be good could use a “bad” version? Casting and plot suggestions welcome.

REVIEWS:
Lights Out: C 4/10
Ice Age: Collision Course: C- n/a
Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie: C n/a

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Episode 318: ‘Ghostbusters,’ ‘The Infiltrator,’ ‘Captain Fantastic,’ ‘Hunt for the Wilderpeople’

0:00 – Hello, it was Jeff’s 40th birthday on Thursday
2:35 – “Ghostbusters” review
20:50 – “The Infiltrator” review
27:55 – “Captain Fantastic” review
38:10 – “Hunt for the Wilderpeople” review
43:35 – QOTW (best fictional cities to live in, with much discussion of the benefits of Metropolis and Emerald City)
1:00:10 – Summer Box Office Massacre update, an update on an Indiana Jones story, recap, goodbye

QOTW: We’re voting on the Mt. Rushmore of sci-fi! Tell us your four (4) favorite sci-fi movies (in any order).

REVIEWS:
Ghostbusters: B- 7/10
The Infiltrator: B 8/10
Captain Fantastic: B 8/10
Hunt for the Wilderpeople: B+ 7/10

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Episode 317: ‘Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates,’ ‘The Secret Life of Pets,’ ‘Swiss Army Man,’ Interquel

0:00 – Intro, iTunes review
4:45 – “Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates” review
13:05 – “The Secret Life of Pets” review
22:00 – “Swiss Army Man” review
29:10 – QOTW (wedding stories)
40:00 – We’ve added a perk for Patreon patrons
41:20 – A round of Interquel, which we erroneously call Character Casserole the whole time because we’re idiots
47:50 – A brief, tactful Summer Box Office Challenge update
48:50 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: What fictional town from a movie would you like to live in?

REVIEWS:
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates: B- 7/10
The Secret Life of Pets: C- 5/10
Swiss Army Man: B+ 8/10 (B.S.-approved!)

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Episode 316: ‘The BFG,’ ‘The Legend of Tarzan,’ ‘The Purge: Election Year,’ ‘Independence Day: Resurgence,’ ‘The Neon Demon’

0:00 – Intro; iTunes review; Dogcat smokes crack
3:05 – “The BFG” review
11:15 – “The Legend of Tarzan” review
20:00 – “The Purge: Election Year” review (Snider only)
27:25 – “Independence Day: Resurgence” review
38:00 – “The Neon Demon” review (Snider only)
42:30 – QOTW (favorite Spielberg moments)
51:50 – Next week’s QOTW, and some wedding talk
53:30 – Summer Box Office Challenge update
57:00 – Our new Patreon campaign
58:40 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: What’s a story from a wedding you attended that would make a good movie?

REVIEWS:
The BFG: C+ 5/10
The Legend of Tarzan: C 7/10
The Purge: Election Year: C+ n/a
Independence Day: Resurgence: C 3/10
The Neon Demon: B n/a

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Episode 315: ‘The Shallows,’ ‘Free State of Jones,’ ‘De Palma’

0:00 – Hello, Jeff’s in a mood, iTunes review
2:20 – “Independence Day: Resurgence” wasn’t screened for critics in the U.S.
4:50 – “Free State of Jones” review
14:15 – “The Shallows” review (Snider only), ending with shark anecdotes
19:20 – “De Palma” review (Snider only)
22:20 – QOTW (movies from 1996 that should get sequels)
33:25 – Summer Box Office Challenge update
39:50 – What Bayer wants for his 40th birthday — and how you can help
45:25 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: What is your favorite Spielberg moment?

REVIEWS:
Free State of Jones: C 5/10
The Shallows: B n/a
De Palma: B+ n/a

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Episode 314: ‘Finding Dory,’ ‘Central Intelligence,’ ‘Tickled,’ ‘Genius’

0:00 – Hello, an iTunes review, a bit of show history
4:20 – “Finding Dory” review
13:50 – “Central Intelligence” review
22:25 – “Tickled” review
31:30 – “Genius” review
39:35 – QOTW (best movie deaths)
49:20 – Summer Box Office Challenge update
50:20 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: In honor of “Independence Day: Resurgence,” what other movie from 1996 should get a sequel? (Here’s a handy list of 1996 films.)

REVIEWS:
Finding Dory: B 8/10
Central Intelligence: B 7/10
Tickled: A- 8/10 (B.S.-approved!)
Genius: C+ 6/10

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Episode 313: ‘The Conjuring 2,’ ‘Now You See Me 2,’ ‘Warcraft’

0:00 – Hello, iTunes review, a poor memory of history
3:30 – “The Conjuring 2” review
17:15 – “Now You See Me 2” review
27:20 – “Warcraft” review
42:05 – QOTW (your top movie character crushes)
55:20 – Jeff hijacks the show to mention that he’s turning 40 next month
56:00 – Summer Box Office Challenge update
1:00:00 – Recap, farewell
1:01:20 – BONUS: “The Lady Is a Trump,” by Eric

QOTW: What is the best movie death?

REVIEWS:
The Conjuring 2: B 6/10
Now You See Me 2: C- 4/10
Warcraft: D 5/10

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Episode 312: ‘Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping,’ ‘Approaching the Unknown’

0:00 – Introduction, all the movies screened at once so we could only see one of them
4:15 – “Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping” review
14:50 – “Approaching the Unknown” review
19:00 – QOTW (Mt. Rushmore of sports movies)
31:25 – You Guys Ask Us Stuff (behind-the-scenes show magic)
35:30 – Summer Box Office Challenge update
39:20 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: Who is your #1 movie character crush?

REVIEWS:
Popstar: B- 6/10
Approaching the Unknown B- 5/10

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Episode 311: ‘X-Men: Apocalypse,’ ‘Alice Through the Looking Glass,’ ‘Pele,’ Character Casserole

0:00 – Introduction, bad radio voices
2:05 – We saw “X-Men: Apocalypse” really early, which didn’t help us at all
3:25 – “X-Men: Apocalypse” review, ending with a disagreement over whether or not we disagree on the movie
12:35 – “Alice Through the Looking Glass” review
20:15 – “Pelé” review (Snider only)
23:20 – QOTW (movie products you’d like to own)
34:40 – Summer Box Office Challenge update
37:15 – A round of Character Casserole (Joker, Anakin Skywalker, Mad Hatter)
46:30 – Recap, more debate about “pretty good” vs. “not very good,” the end

QOTW: We’re compiling the Mt. Rushmore of sports movies. Tell us your four (4) favorite sports movies (order doesn’t matter).

REVIEWS:
X-Men: Apocalypse: C+ 6/10
Alice Through the Looking Glass: D 3/10
Pele: C n/a

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Episode 310: ‘The Nice Guys,’ ‘Neighbors 2,’ ‘The Angry Birds Movie,’ ‘A Bigger Splash’

0:00 – Hello; Snider’s apathy toward sparkling water, which Bayer loves
3:25 – iTunes review
4:50 – “The Nice Guys” review
15:40 – “Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising” review
23:40 – “The Angry Birds Movie” review (Snider only)
31:30 – “A Bigger Splash” review (Snider only)
34:10 – QOTW (pitches for movies based on apps)
42:30 – Hey, What’d You Watch? (“Sweet Smell of Success,” “Mary Poppins,” “The Wicker Man”)
51:00 – Recap, a few more words about the movies, the end

QOTW: What fictitious product from a movie would you like to own?

REVIEWS:
The Nice Guys: B+ 8/10 (B.S.-approved!)
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising: B+ 8/10 (B.S.-approved!)
The Angry Birds Movie: D- n/a
A Bigger Splash: B n/a

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Episode 309: ‘Money Monster,’ ‘Being Charlie,’ ‘The Meddler’

0:00 – Hello; iTunes review
2:50 – Our sponsor this week: the Practically Culture podcast, about movies, TV, video games, etc.
5:15 – “Money Monster,” but first, what if movies with “Money” in the title were “Monkey” instead??
6:30 – “Money Monster” review for real this time
17:05 – There’s also a movie called “The Darkness,” but they wouldn’t show it to anyone; check out Eric’s site for a review
17:40 – “Being Charlie” review
25:50 – “The Meddler” review (Snider only)
31:15 – Summer Box Office Challenge: some interesting stats about past contests, plus the announcement of this year’s stakes
38:15 – QOTW (things that happened to you that would make good movies, including stories from our own lives)
59:00 – Recap of this week’s show

QOTW: In honor of “Angry Birds,” make up a good idea for a movie based on an app.

REVIEWS:
Money Monster: C 4/10
Being Charlie: C 5/10
The Meddler: B+ n/a

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Episode 308: ‘Captain America: Civil War,’ ‘The Man Who Knew Infinity,’ Pitch Me

0:00 – Hello!
2:35 – “Captain America: Civil War” review
19:00 – “The Man Who Knew Infinity” review
25:00 – QOTW (worst movie experiences with moms)
40:50 – A round of Pitch Me
48:20 – The Summer Box Office Challenge officially begins this weekend; we’ll have the terms of the bet arranged by next week
49:30 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: Pitch us a movie based on a (TRUE) event in your life.

REVIEWS:
Captain America: Civil War: B 7/10
The Man Who Knew Infinity: C+ 5/10

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Episode 307: ‘Keanu,’ ‘Sing Street,’ ‘Mother’s Day,’ 2016 Summer Box Office Challenge draft

0:00 – It’s draft day, and Bayer is already making excuses
3:30 – “Keanu” review
10:40 – “Sing Street” review (from SXSW)
14:20 – “Mother’s Day” review (Snider only)
29:55 – QOTW (best use of diegetic music in movies)
42:00 – The Summer Box Office Challenge draft, beginning with a brief explanation of what that is
51:10 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: What’s the worst movie experience you’ve ever had with your mother?

REVIEWS:
Keanu: B- 5/10
Sing Street: A- 9/10 (B.S.-approved!)
Mother’s Day: F n/a

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Episode 306: ‘Green Room,’ ‘Elvis & Nixon,’ ‘The Huntsman: Winter’s War,’ ‘Miles Ahead,’ Interview with Jeremy Saulnier and Anton Yelchin

0:00 – It’s a special show because we have an interview
2:00 – “Green Room” review
14:45 – Interview with “Green Room” writer-director Jeremy Saulnier and star Anton Yelchin
33:35 – “The Huntsman: Winter’s War” review, ending in a discussion of the ethics of using regular-sized actors to play dwarfs
48:15 – “Elvis & Nixon” review, including a factual detail that Snider couldn’t accept and a reminder that the MPAA rating system is useless
59:00 – “Miles Ahead” review
1:02:25 – QOTW (food you’ve smuggled into the movies)
1:17:15 – We’re doing the draft for the Summer Box Office Challenge next week, so let us know if you have any (feasible, realistic) suggestions for what the stakes of the bet should be
1:19:20 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: What’s the best use of diegetic* music in a movie? (Diegetic music: music that is actually heard by the characters in the movie, and not just on the soundtrack. A good example: “Stuck in the Middle with You” playing on the radio during the ear-slicing scene in “Reservoir Dogs.”)

REVIEWS:
Green Room: A- 10/10 (B.S.-approved!)
The Huntsman: Winter’s War: D 3/10
Elvis & Nixon: B+ 8/10 (B.S.-approved!)
Miles Ahead: n/a 7/10

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Episode 305: ‘The Jungle Book,’ ‘Everybody Wants Some!!,” ‘The Invitation,’ ‘Barbershop: The Next Cut,’ ‘Criminal’

0:00 – Hello; an iTunes review
3:35 – “The Jungle Book” review
15:30 – QOTW (making live-action versions of animated films)
25:15 – “Everybody Wants Some!!” review
31:25 – “The Invitation” review
39:05 – “Barbershop: The Next Cut” review (Snider only), ending with strong words about unibrows
45:30 – “Criminal” review (Snider only)
50:30 – Recap and goodbye

QOTW: What is the most shameful (most elaborate, most outrageous, etc.) food or beverage you’ve smuggled into a movie theater? We will also accept stories about things that people other than you smuggled in, as long as you attest that you personally witnessed it with your own eyes/nose.

REVIEWS:
The Jungle Book: B- 7/10
Everybody Wants Some!!: B- 7/10
The Invitation: B+ 7/10
Barbershop: The Next Cut: B- n/a
Criminal: C+ n/a

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