However, the Dark Night of the Soul is a process initiated by the soul. The question “Who am I?” opens the Reality that scares our little human soul. Everything is wiped clean and you start afresh on a clean slate. Through this dark night, God prepares us for the illuminative way and a deeper, more contemplative life of prayer. The Dark Night of the Soul can be described as a total collapse of a perceived meaning of life and is conventionally called depression. But when it finally ends, it ends for good. Before we can enter heaven, it has to happen. Our soul is always full of aliveness, joy, freedom, and love. The dark night and related soul transformation was an unfamiliar school of thought to me. Even though others might have good intentions, it’s better to be alone when you are redefining your identity so that you know what you want. If we want to become saints, we have to desire only God's will. Get it as soon as Fri, Apr 16. For most of us, the ego has not died completely. That’s why we experience an existential crisis and a loss of identity. Paperback $9.89 $ 9. The poem narrates the purpose of the Soul. During this dark night, God roots out our deepest attachments to sin and self, and the desolation that accompanies that rooting out is overwhelming and crushing. The Dark Night of the Soul John of the Cross [1542-1591] was a major figure of the Counter-Reformation, a Spanish mystic, Roman Catholic saint, Carmelite friar and priest. It can happen in this life or it can happen in the next — in purgatory. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise. Now, five years later, I’m experiencing the Dark Night again. Sorrows afflict us, and things that used to comfort us — food, sex, shopping, compliments, even the liturgy — no longer do. It was the malady that earned for Jeremiah the … For some, the letters became a source of scandal. 4. In my book, The Emotional Gift, I wrote at the end, “Perhaps we need to die multiple times in order to realize the true meaning of life. But when you are going through a Dark Night, all these material things are meaningless and don’t matter to you anymore. I’m grateful I died today.” I’m referring to ego death. Then, there are those who experience the dark night of the soul mainly through inner desolation: The gates of heaven seem barred against them, and no matter how much they pray, no consolation seemingly comes. When you come out of the Dark Night, it feels like a sudden transformation. Your resistance makes the emotional pain you experience more unbearable. Her books include The American Catholic Almanac: A Daily Reader of Patriots, Saints, Rogues, and Ordinary People Who Changed the United States, co-authored with Brian Burch president of CatholicVote.org, a nonprofit political advocacy group based in Chicago, These Beautiful Bones: An Everyday Theology of the Body, and The Catholic Girl's Survival Guide for the Single Years. You are actually growing even though it seems worse from the ego’s perspective. And there's no better business than that. 4.7 out of 5 stars 278. In the dark night of the senses, God purifies us of our attachments to the things of the world — physical comfort, physical pleasure, material success, popular acclaim — as well as of our consolations in prayer. You experience some kind of ego death and you know that you are not your thoughts. But here is better. It pulls you towards a direction of love, joy, and peace because the soul knows that you are ready for growth. (Part 2): The Difference Between INFJ and INTJ, Am I an INFJ? The Dark Night of the Soul is a period of utter spiritual desolation, disconnection, and emptiness in which one feels totally separated from the Divine. They remain active and don't experience the same temptations to total self-loathing or suicide that those struggling with depression suffer, nor do they lose their faith in the midst of the dark night. The Dark Night of the Soul is referred to as such, because it defines a “dark” period in our lives that helps us to get in touch with our soul—at the deepest level. Some of that breaking we do, as we learn to avoid vice and pursue virtue. “As for the vice of lust - aside from what it means for spiritual persons to fall into this vice, … When you’ve achieved the apogee of spirituality, your mind is opening your eyes to the reality. During the Dark Night process, the soul brings so much energy to the new path that going against it or resisting it is futile. They will get used to the new “you” or they will leave you alone eventually. Every Christian, on their way to God, must pass through his or her own dark night. A dark night of the soul is not something that one can choose to initiate — or participate in. A comprehensive list of symptoms of the Dark Night of the Soul. But we can't do wrong and stand before God. It’s losing control and the power to dictate the direction. Emily Stimpson is a freelance Catholic writer based in Steubenville, Ohio. He wrote the poem and extensive commentary on the Dark Night. We love what we shouldn't love, or we love what we should but in the wrong way. Also, if your friends do not have the same spiritual experience as you or have not been through a Dark Night, they might not understand what you are going through. But some of that breaking only God can do. Nevertheless, we submit to the surgeon's knife readily and quickly, knowing that the sooner we have the surgery, the sooner we can live a healthy, full life. Everything seems meaningless, hollow, and empty. There is nothing much to do or anything you can do to make the process any faster than what the soul desires. But neither does surgery. However, this term can be somewhat misleading because it suggests that our soul is suffering. Am I an INFJ? When you go against the flow, you suffer. FREE Shipping on orders over $25 shipped by Amazon. But the fact that she encountered a dark night wasn't. Usually, it lasts for only a short while. We don’t know who we are, what we want in life, and what to do with our lives anymore. Dark Night of the Soul St. John of the Cross. There is no one you can call. After emerging from my Dark Night, I was given the new identity as a writer. The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth. It can’t live like a caterpillar anymore. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. The main difference between a spiritual depression and a psychological depression is there is no spiritual evolution or component in the latter. There is no meaning to life and nothing makes sense anymore. When the world looked at the face of Blessed Teresa of Kolkata, it saw pure, simple joy. It’s only through my Dark Night that I am awakened and realized that I am not what I do. Emily Stimpson. That’s why it brought to your attention now. Dear INFJs, Why Are You So Misunderstood? The “dark night of the soul” is a term that goes back a long time. “The Dark Night of the Soul” is a term that is commonly used to describe a period of spiritual transformation.if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-nerdycreator_com-box-3-0')}; During this dark period, one feels depressed, lost, and lonely. A butterfly has a new purpose in life. Yes, I have also experienced it. The dark night of the soul is not an evil to be endured; it's a good for which we should be grateful. It’s probably more appropriate to call it a “growth period”. The “Dark Night of the Soul” gives us a new sense of appreciation for all that is good in life and shows us how little we truly need to be happy. 6 tips to help you navigate these times But if you truly understand the Dark Night of the Soul, you will know that this fear comes from the ego. The author himself did not give any title to his poem, on which he wrote two book-length commentaries: Ascent of Mount Carmel (Subida del Monte Carmelo) and The Dark Night (Noche Oscura). What Happens After The Dark Night of The Soul. Allow the intense emotions to surface. The conceptual framework that once gave us meanings and kept us going in life collapsed. More than just a lack of consolation, this dark night plunges a soul into an abyss of darkness and nothingness, essentially revealing to us what we are without God and preparing us to not only carry our crosses, but to love our crosses and carry them joyfully in union with Christ. The first is the purgative way, where we break habits of vice, acquire habits of virtue and learn to live a Catholic life. The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. But after my first Dark Night, I still unconsciously derive a sense of self from my relationships. Best Books That Will Help You Love and Accept Yourself, 2. But be patient and trust that the end will come at the perfect time.if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-nerdycreator_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0')}; One doesn’t get gradually better during the Dark Night of the Soul. How Can an INFJ Be in a Happy, Satisfying Relationship? So taking time alone to meditate, journal, contemplate, and do your inner work might be a better option.if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-nerdycreator_com-leader-3-0')}; If you are really struggling on your own, you can always find someone who has experienced the Dark Night of the Soul before or read spiritual books from authors such as Eckhart Tolle who have been through this. It feels like depression because you share similar symptoms that a depressed person has. The Dark Night of The Soul is about giving up and grieving. by Gerald G. May. The dark night of the soul looks different in different lives. 3. Chapter V. Sets down the first line and begins to explain how this dark contemplation is not only night for the soul but is also grief and torment. © 1996-2021 Catholic Education Resource Center | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer | Sitemap, These Beautiful Bones: An Everyday Theology of the Body. Our previous identity, the one that our ego built is often a result of social conditioning. What’s dying is our ego. Also, after my Dark Night, peace and self-compassion have been my top priorities. Everything seems meaningless, hollow, and empty. Most of your journey will be dark. The dark night of the soul. I jumped from being an auditor to an accountant then to an animator, trying to find my identity. My whole identity shifted and I became more in touch with my spirit and my purpose. You might cry uncontrollably or without any reason, experience. Best Books That Will Awaken Your Spirit, 4. Instead of focusing on the stories in your mind, you want to focus on your body and welcome the pain to move through your body. Chapter VII. Dark Night of the Soul. We don’t have to kill our ego completely. The individual being may perceive the Unknown as a terrifying vastness. We can't even want to do wrong and stand before God. (Part 3): The Difference Between INFJ and ISFJ, Am I an INFJ? If you search for “Dark Night of the Soul” on Google you will find 58 million results - and counting. When you reach the boiling point, you transform from water to steam at that instant. 17 practical advices that will help you deal with the Dark Night of the Soul. So I have to let go of relationships that are drama-inducing and don’t align with the next stage of my growth.if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-nerdycreator_com-leader-4-0')}; Your world after the Dark Night of the Soul is going to be flipped upside down. Reprinted with permission from Emily Stimpson. Continues the same matter and considers other afflictions end constraints of the will. According to the poet, the “dark night of the soul” is synonymous with traveling the “narrow way” that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 7:13-14. You will only feel more disconnected, hopeless, and frustrated when you try to communicate with them. Unless you are very deeply connected with your spirit or devote your life to spirituality, most of us will still act from the ego from time to time even after our first Dark Night of the Soul. The first time I had my Dark Night, it was two months of depression. In this article we explore what exactly this experience is, the symptoms one may exhibit while going through, as well as looking at the benefits that one can receive by facing such a challenge and coming out the other side They find themselves persecuted or afflicted. Even for my new identity as a writer, I take it lightly. It’s not a linear process. In darkness and secure, By the secret ladder, disguised–oh, happy chance!– In darkness and in concealment, My house being now at rest. Gracefully emerge from the Dark Night of the Soul. Like alchemy, it is designed to turn our lead into gold—our pain into joy, our suffering into understanding, our loneliness into connection. Best Books That Will Help You Understand Your Emotions, 3. When you go with the flow, you enjoy the ride. How to Reparent Yourself and Love Your Wounded Inner Child, 1. When you are going through the Dark Night of the Soul for the first time, you are going to experience a lot of intense emotions that you have previously suppressed or ignored. The person's role in such a time is not significant. Suddenly, the joy that the tiny sister from Albania once radiated seemed anything but simple. In the happy night, But when you blame, you are deflecting your emotional pain to others. It is only when you’re alone, that you realize you’re never alone. The soul desires growth and expansion. For others, it comes many times. There is some kind of transformation and spiritual awakening. As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false. The Dark Night of the Soul is the title given to a poem by 16th-century Spanish poet and Roman Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross. 2. Dark Night of the Soul Symptoms: This is a guide exploring the concept of the dark night of the soul. Some people experience it primarily through external circumstances. It’s like going through a dark tunnel. As St. John of the Cross noted long ago, depression (or as they called it in the 17th century, melancholia) can go hand in hand with a dark night, whether by exacerbating it or resulting from it. The conceptual structure that it’s relying on to survive is collapsing. Our Sunday Visitor Newsweekly: Bringing Your Catholic Faith to Life. Every fallen human being has disordered desires and attachments. The monk taught that one seeking God will cast off all attachments to this world and live a life of austerity. For the sooner we let God root out unhealthy attachments, the sooner we can get on with the business of being saints. Recovering from a psychological depression makes you a stronger, healthier caterpillar but in the end, you are still a caterpillar. How to Cultivate Equanimity and Be Emotionally Strong, 5. Lastly, be open to having more Dark Nights in the future. What dies, in essence, is the egoic sense of self. Our ego wants to avoid pain and tries to find relief by blaming others.if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-nerdycreator_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0')}; Focusing on others and what they have done doesn’t help you to process your emotions. You are just resisting the transformation and avoiding the pain that is necessary for your growth. The phrase "dark night of the soul," can be traced back to a 16th-century Spanish poem by the Roman Catholic mystic San Juan de la Cruz, or Saint John of the Cross. What you have previously found meaningful becomes meaningless. Don’t judge the emotions or yourself for having such emotions. The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. You might have to change your career, your relationships, your lifestyle and etc somewhat. 58 million! But all this while when you are heating up and increasing in temperature, you are still water. Before I went through my Dark Night, my identity was shaped by my career. There was a lot of crying, panic attacks, and resistance. This time eroding my identity and attachment that are associated with people and relationships.if(typeof __ez_fad_position != 'undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-nerdycreator_com-leader-2-0')}; But because I’ve been through it once, I know that this is for my greater good and I can appreciate the expansion my soul is bringing me, so I don’t suffer much at all. In contrast, a Dark Night of the Soul is like a caterpillar hiding in darkness in its cocoon and allowing metamorphosis to take place. If we want to become the people God made us to be and live the lives he made us to live, we must let him excise sin and unhealthy attachments from our souls. To the person passing through this type of dark night, it feels like God has left them to deal with their cross on their own. Of other kinds of pain that the soul suffers in this night. Dark Night of the Soul is an old concept. As mentioned previously, it also depends on how much you allow. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died there – only an illusory identity. Go here to subscribe. But once we realize that these things don’t actually make us happy, we lose our purpose in achieving or acquiring them. Before we go any further, let’s have a deeper understanding of what the Dark Night of the Soul is and how it is different from clinical depression. What Are the Best and Worst Careers for INFJs? John of the Cross was a reformer of the Carmelite Order and is considered, along with Saint Teresa of Ávila, as a founder of the Discalced Carmelites. They are what society deems as successful. Of course, it doesn't always seem that way. You are supposed to be happy when you achieve these things but you are not. It’s only when the soul wants further expansion and growth but the ego refuses that the next Dark Night will come. But that’s okay. The inner state in some cases is very close to what is conventionally called depression. It will also come to completion faster than when you resist it. During this dark period, one feels depressed, lost, and lonely. One that our ego built is often a result of social conditioning this phenomenon describes malady! Not significant or ways ) of growth in holiness Teresa 's sanctity dies in future. The Connection Between Darkness and spiritual growth INFJ and ISFJ, am I an INFJ be in a,! 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